Miss Migraine: A list of all my problems, in order of their interference with my life

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The Adventures of Miss Migraine is an ongoing column about my life with chronic migraine. A version of this post appeared first on August 9, 2012, on my blog of the same name.

On days when I don’t feel quite awful enough to lie on the couch feeling miserable, but too awful to accomplish anything beyond the most basic necessities, I like to make lists. This is one I made today.

A List of All My Problems, In Order of Their Interference With My Life

  1. My head hurts, to a greater or lesser degree, every single moment I am awake.
  2. The medication I take for Problem One prevents me from sleeping well.
  3. I have only one pair of jeans that fit me, and zero pairs of shorts that fit me (and only two pairs of shorts at all). Because of Problems One and Two, plus the fact that girl pants are made for people with stick-thin legs and no butts, shopping is a painful, exhausting, frustrating experience. And I’ve never liked it much anyway. Unless it’s for books.
  4. Sometimes, partially because of Problem One, but also because of Problem Five and general anxiety and insecurity about my place in the world, I feel overwhelmingly depressed.
  5. The book I wrote isn’t published yet, and it makes me feel insecure and depressed sometimes. I’ve been trying to get it published for two years. I know it’s good enough. But believing in myself is hard, when no one else but my closest friends, family, and mentors seem to. (Note from 2018: Never got this book published, and 2018 Kelly thinks this is probably a blessing in disguise.)
  6. Zombies terrify me. Why do zombies have to be so popular? They’re everywhere. I can’t avoid them. They give me nightmares and make me think about a future (or a present) where no one is able to think for herself. Where everyone stumbles around, infecting everyone else with something incurable, something worse than death, something that will finally lead the planet to utter devastation. (Note from 2018: Yeah, this is still 100% true, though it might be worse, because my board game crew freaking loves zombie board games. WHY.)

What are your biggest problems and worst fears?

4 thoughts on “Miss Migraine: A list of all my problems, in order of their interference with my life

  1. I love that zombies are part of this list. Makes me feel a little less weird in my deathly fear of dinosaurs. Seriously don’t take me to the Carnegie Museum- I turn white!

    • They do have giant teeth and weird super powers. At least, being able to spit poison seems like it should be a super power!

  2. this list is a great idea. now that i am getting up in years i have a handful of issues that are all complicating each other. i need a GP who can help me tackle them all. incremental health care. i am so utterly disappointed in the US health care system. i too struggle with weight but am trying to give myself a pass b/c of migraine, anxiety & depression; i have so much on my plate that “fixing” it is not realisitc and just does a ton of psychic damage

    • I’m frustrated by the US healthcare system too. I’ve tried to get all my doctors to work together, and they just… don’t. Lately I’ve been trying to focus more on health than weight, because you’re totally right, fixating on it is mentally and emotionally damaging. I’m really hard on myself though, so this is definitely a challenges for me.

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